Marital Separation: Tips To Deal With It

Separation is a difficult stage to face, it is a grieving process and you will need time, patience and above all a positive mind. Think that a separation is not synonymous with loss, failure or disappointment, it is simply the end of a stage in your life.

It could be more bearable if you follow some of these recommendations to face it in a positive and mature way. However, remember that what we indicate here are only advice that does not have to work for you. That is why we recommend that you go to therapy if you need professional help to face your separation.

Don’t act on impulse

Try not to act impulsively with your ex. Think very well about each of the things you are going to do and especially what you are going to say. When people are hurt, they often say things that they regret later, so face things calmly and don’t let anger speak for you.

Likewise, if the opportunity to return with that person presents itself, it is better that you meditate on it, for some reason you were at the point of separation. This does not mean that it is not only a relationship crisis, but take your time to think very well what it is that you want for your life.

Face the pain of separation

Separation is a grieving process, it is normal to feel pain. You are separating from someone you loved and with whom you have shared part of your life. You have to try to take the situation calmly and try not to fall into negative thoughts. Relaxing herbal teas can help you achieve more serenity.

Look for distractions from separation

If we have a problem and we continually think about it, we can contribute in some way to making certain diseases manifest or to exacerbate some of their symptoms.

It is advisable to distract ourselves and not constantly think about separation, try to  keep your mind occupied with other things, thinking more about your life projects:

• The job.
• The family.
• Friends.
• Get regular exercise.

Do everything that keeps your mind distracted and,  above all, that makes you feel happy.

Your ex is not your enemy

You and your ex may not have ended in the best way, but this is not a reason to hold grudges in your heart. Holding onto hate is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

Although it can be difficult, remember that person as the one who made you happy for a while, hatred will only complicate the situation by making the whole process of separation much more difficult.

Forgive your partner

If you have children, keep in mind that even if they are no longer your partner, they are still the father or mother of your children. Hate can cause them suffering, and of course we take it for granted that neither parent wants it.

Not best friends, not enemies

In a separation, it is almost impossible to apply the phrase “if I saw you, I do not remember”, you are separating from someone who was or is still very important to you.

If it is a permanent separation and not a relationship crisis, of course it will be good for you to walk away. However, in the event that the separation is by mutual agreement, between the two of you can help each other to accept the new situation.

Separation and children

One very important thing in a separation process is not to use the children as a means of communication with the ex-partner, being messengers can affect them.

It is also not advisable to speak ill of your ex partner in front of your children or other people, no matter how angry you are or no matter how much damage they have done to you. It says something about you to speak ill of your ex-partner, so do not fall into this mistake that is so frequent today when there is a separation.

Other recommendations:

Some of the recommendations that we give you below are related to healthy habits and will help you feel and look better, such as practicing regular exercise, not drinking alcohol, eating a healthy diet and above all surrounding yourself with people the ones you want and they love you.

Finally, if you think that your partner wants to continue by your side and you too, fight for that love, put aside pride and grudges.